Some people believe that divorce hurts children unnecessarily. While it can be a painful transition, nothing is black or white. Usually, how a child recovers from mom and dad divorcing will depend on how they co-parent. If you can have a cooperative relationship, your child will feel secure and settled with each parent.

If you decide to get divorced, you can help your kids by following these co-parenting tips:

  • Focus on your kids, not your own hurt feelings. You might feel sad, angry and resentful toward your ex, but those emotions need to stay out of co-parenting. This is not easy to do, but with time, it will get less difficult. Seeing the benefits of peaceful co-parenting will help.
  • Have peaceful, purposeful and consistent communication. Unfortunately, no matter how you feel about your ex, you will need to learn to communicate with that person you share children. Do not try to communicate through your child. Make your child the focus of any communication and resolve to conduct yourself in the best interest of your child. This article offers more tips on co-parenting communication methods.
  • Work as a team. You are no longer together as a couple, but that doesn't mean your child should not have the benefit of two parents working together for his or her own good. Aim to be consistent with rules and discipline. Make important decisions together. Follow the agreed upon parenting plan. You will disagree from time to time, but working out those problems with respect and compromise will go a long way.

No one said divorce would be painless. But if you can make co-parenting work, the impact of the divorce on your children could be as pain-free as possible. The goal is to raise a happy, confident, well-adjusted individual who knows it is possible to work through conflict. For more information about proceeding with a divorce, an experienced family law attorney can answer your questions.

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