You want sole custody of your kids in the divorce, because you don't want to miss anything. You don't care about assets or all the rest. You just want to be with your kids.

It's understandable, but childhood development experts often advise that kids get time with both parents. The courts often rule this way, trying not to cut mom or dad out entirely.

The key, then, may be to change your mindset. There are positives to joint custody. There are even positives when your kids are with your ex.

For one thing, you get to share responsibilities. You don't have to pick them up from school every day. You don't have to take them to every activity. It's not on you to look over everyone's homework. You get to split up all of these parenting tasks and get some time off.

You also have to remember that your kids are going to miss your ex. Their relationship is important. You don't want to miss anything, but think about their side of it. Do they want to miss everything with the other parent?

Plus, joint custody means you still get to work together on parenting. You don't always have to be the bad guy and lay down the rules. You don't always have to tell them to do their homework or eat their vegetables. Parenting isn't constantly fun and relaxing; it can be very challenging. You can split that burden up with your ex.

This doesn't mean you shouldn't fight to be with your kids. Know your rights and make sure they're respected. However, it's also wise to understand the reality and remember that the goal is to focus on the kids' best interests.

Source: Huffington Post, "10 Reasons This Divorced Mom Is Glad It’s Dad’s Weekend," Kate Chapman, accessed Nov. 02, 2017

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