Though you knew that co-parenting after a divorce was the best way to help your children maintain healthy relationships with both parents, you also knew that the possibility of conflict between you and the other parent existed. After all, you divorced for a reason, and that reason may have to do with the fact that you two rarely see eye-to-eye anymore. Still, you are willing to do what is necessary for the well-being of your kids.
You likely rely heavily on your parenting plan to determine when the children will be with each parent, but that does not mean that you and the other parent have nothing else to consider regarding the kids. Various scenarios could arise in which you and the other parent need to compromise, but it is not always easy. In fact, conflict between the two of you is still a possibility.
After a divorce, it is easy to want to hang on to the anger and dislike for the other party that may have contributed to the divorce. However, that mindset could be detrimental when it comes to working together to care for the kids. If you find yourself in conflict with the other parent, you may want to consider the following tips for resolving the conflict as best as possible:
- Avoid trying to punish the other parent: If the other parent does something that you do not like in relation to the kids or parenting plan in general, your first instinct may be to get back at your ex in some way. However, it may be better to consider how you and the other parent could find a way to ensure that the problem does not happen again rather than escalating the issues with revenge tactics.
- Postpone conversations when necessary: Though communication is necessary to co-parent well, you do not want to have important conversations when tensions are high and you are both unlikely to want to compromise. Instead, if a conflict arises, give each other time to calm down before proceeding with a conversation to address the issue.
- Identify common causes of conflict: In some cases, parents find themselves at odds over the same issues again and again. Once identified, determine whether you can take action to avoid having the same ineffective fights repeatedly.
Depending on the relationship you and your co-parent have, conflict resolution may not always be easy. Fortunately, you have various options for trying to come to the best solutions.
What if the plan is not working?
In the event that you and the other parent simply cannot make your current custody plan work, you may want to consider revisiting that plan. In some cases, pursuing a custody modification could help create a new arrangement that works better for everyone, including the kids.