From a very early age, humans are capable of recognizing danger. Because of perceived dangerous situations, your body responds to different sounds during a fight or flight response. Certain physiological changes occur as your body gears up to avoid or confront this situation.
One of these changes is in the way that you hear. The muscles in your ears tighten, allowing you to hear higher and lower sounds. High-pitch sounds like screaming or sirens or lower pitches like thunder are easier to hear and recognize during a stress response.
What this means for couples
Unfortunately, this can cause miscommunication in couples. When couples are under stress, they may start an argument, even if it has nothing to do with the actual stressor. Since stress triggers auditory changes, your partner might be completely processing what you are saying. It may seem like they do not hear you at all. This often escalates the situation.
What this means during a divorce
Divorce is extremely stressful for both parties. It is much easier to fight with your partner than deal with the actual problems in the relationship.
Since you must work on issues like child support and custody, you need to learn to speak to your ex-spouse when you both are calm. Remember that they might not be capable of hearing you in the heat of the moment. It is best to keep calm and wait for a time that you can talk civilly to each other rather than allow it to degenerate into an argument.
Remember that it is not necessarily your ex-partner’s fault that they misunderstand or argue with you.